Southerners still in hibernation

People in the South of England remain in their annual state of hibernation despite it being spring, it has emerged. Southerners, the only humans on the island of Britain to hibernate each winter continue to stay cocooned within their homes, with the heating on full blast 24 hours a day or in the case of…

Fights breakout following boring weather talk

Police have reported an increase in violent incidents across the UK as a spell of warm, dry weather comes to an end. People have become increasingly annoyed at hearing the same comments being made about the weather repeatedly throughout the day. Over exposure to people saying ‘that’s the summer over now’, ‘ooh we’ve been spoilt’…