BBC to unveil Mussolini statue

The BBC is set to unveil a bronze statue of Mussolini outside its Salford Quays offices as part of the Corporation’s latest attempts to counter accusations of left-wing bias. The BBC consistently comes under fire from the Daily Mail and right leaning politicians who argue it has an inbuilt left-wing bias. The unveiling of the Mussolini statue…

Houses in the North now worth tuppence

A typical house in the North is now worth tuppence latest housing market data has shown. The news come as figures reveal that across the UK the average house is now worth £189,306. The North, which is the only place in the UK that still measures the value of property using an archaic mixture of…

North of England love bombing Scotland

The North of England is repeatedly trying to woo Scotland it has been reported. With Scotland due to make a decision on whether to stay with London or go it alone as a singleton, the North of England has sent numerous texts, left voicemails, sent Facebook messages and written letters, all declaring a love for…

United sign Di Maria by mistake

Manchester United may have signed Angel Di Maria by mistake it has emerged. The signing, unveiled today, goes against United’s recent strategy of being linked to, but not signing, every person who has ever been within in a metre of a football. A spokesperson said, “Our transfer policy of being linked to players does come…

Liverpool FC to sign Cantona, Ferguson and Jones

Liverpool Football Club hope to field a bad boys eleven against Manchester City on Monday it has emerged. The team is likely to include Eric Cantona, Duncan Ferguson and Vinnie Jones, despite two of those three playing for their fiercest rivals, and the third being one of the worst footballers to every tread on a…

Left-wing influence massive in UK

Left-wingers are everywhere and have infiltrated all public institutions a leading think tank has said. Their influence is so great it has led to 35 years of neo-liberal, free market economics and the privatisation of every industry. The claim, by leading Westminster think tank Thinkers, comes after newspaper reports that many of Gordon Brown’s former…