Glaswegians have politely invited the Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith, to come up to Scotland and re-enact the double fist pump celebration he displayed during last week’s budget. Duncan Smith has spent the last five years on a one man crusade to make the lives of people living in poverty even shitter. The…
Hunting Tories is already legal north of the border and an amendment being tabled by the SNP aims to bring the law in England and Wales in line with Scotland. The Scottish National Party are to table an amendment in Parliament calling for hunting Tories to be made legal in England and Wales. The move…
Harriet Harman, the interim Labour Party leader, labelled George Osborne as ‘weak’ and ‘a big softie’ today, saying his cuts to tax credits and other benefits won’t do enough damage to people’s lives. The move follows up her announcement on Sunday that the Labour Party intends to back the Chancellor’s decision to cut child tax…
Alexander and his friends were searching for treasure using a Spanish treasure map they found in the attic. Lib Dem Treasury spokesperson Danny Alexander has revealed he accidently stumbled across his backbone last night. The Beaker lookalike, who has revealed Tory plans to cut Child Benefit in today’s Guardian, says he misplaced his backbone about…
A triumphant and increasingly cocky George Osborne has hailed economic figures which show the economy of the UK is only a little bit worse than when he took over. Speaking after GDP figures showed growth had slowed to 0.5%, the Chancellor formerly knowns as Gideon said, “Look, I took over a growing economy in 2010…
Greece has today avoided defaulting on its debt from the IMF by putting 50p in the meter. Greece, who hasn’t paid any leccy or water bills since 2011 and owes around £330m, has made the minimum payment required by the IMF. There had been rumours that Greece would say ‘fuck it’ and blow the 50p…
Rich bloke speaks out after hearing about a CEO that only earns £250,000 a year. A rich person has shocked the world by saying they probably don’t deserve to have accumulated the wealth they have built up over the course of their lifetime. The person, currently worth £6 billion, has asked that his identity be…
The Daily Mail has launched a measured, but scathing attack on Labour leader Ed Miliband saying ‘he breathes a bit funny’, and is therefore not fit to be prime minister. In a balanced and considered editorial the newspaper said, “Just look at him, the twat. For Christ’s sake, even the way he breathes is weird.…
The Conservative Party has taken a 20 point poll leader over nearest rivals UKIP among dead people, who were worth a few bob when they were alive. The poll, commissioned by Death from the Bill and Ted movies, came after David Cameron said he wanted to reform Inheritance Tax so hardly anyone has to pay…
It will be possible to make the new one pound coin being unveiled today in George Osborne’s Budget at home using a 3D printer, Treasury officials have confirmed. The 12 sided coin is being introduced by the Chancellor in a bid to distract people from real news, such as Kim Kardashian’s blonde hair and whether…
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