Benefits to be replaced by Panini football stickers

Cash benefits such as tax credits and Jobseeker’s Allowance are to be replaced by Panini football stickers it has been announced. The Government have said they intend to fast-track proposals set out by Iain Duncan-Smith this week by ending cash benefit payments in order to stop people wasting money on luxuries like food and clothing. Instead, the poor…

Liverpool FC to sign Cantona, Ferguson and Jones

Liverpool Football Club hope to field a bad boys eleven against Manchester City on Monday it has emerged. The team is likely to include Eric Cantona, Duncan Ferguson and Vinnie Jones, despite two of those three playing for their fiercest rivals, and the third being one of the worst footballers to every tread on a…

Manchester United delight at transfer dealings

Manchester United’s tactic of being rumoured to be signing everyone but not actually doing so, is ‘working a treat’ the club have said. The comments came as United celebrated another summer of Daily Mail transfer gossip linking them to most people who’ve ever kicked a ball or been near a football stadium. Club officials said, “The…