Sectarian rift opens up between Ant and Dec factions

A major sectarian rift has opened up between followers of Ant and Dec. Ant and Decites are said to have fallen out over which of the two large foreheaded Geordies is which. Ant and Decism, the world’s fastest growing religion, has overtaken traditional religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Islamism and Scientology in large parts of…

Pope ordered to act like a bastard

The Pope has been told to start making controversial and unpopular comments by senior figures in the Vatican following concerns that he is coming across as too nice. The Vatican is concerned that their long fought for reputation of being seen as elitist, aloof, uncaring and concerned with covering up scandals is being undermined by…