Originally posted on notlondonnews:
Commuters in the North of England are to be given second hand peddle go-karts under a scheme designed by the government to stop hard pressed commuters moaning about how bad the trains in the North are. Whilst the majority of people in the North are too lazy to work, a substantial…
Everyone is talking today about the chances that the fractured halves of a once great party will reunite in search of power in this country. Whilst never ruled out, until today the chances of the two parties healing the rift that saw them drift away from each other had seemed slim but after watching their…
Broadcasters have asked Leanne Wood, leader of Plaid Cymru, to respond to questions in tonight’s leader’s debate in Welsh, it has emerged. Plaid Cymru, which literally translates as ‘English people are really annoying’, are only standing in Wales and broadcasters have said it will be less confusing for viewers in the rest of the UK…
Originally posted on notlondonnews:
David Cameron’s increasing feeble excuses for not signing up to televised leaders’ debates ahead of the General Election in May took a new twist today as he said he wasn’t going to take part unless his childhood nanny came with him. Whilst Labour, the Lib Dems and UKIP are all up…
Originally posted on notlondonnews:
Chancellor George Osborne has hailed as a major success his plans for a ‘Northern Pigeon Shed’ following an announcement that Manchester Airport is to be transformed into a giant home for the cooing fowl. Osborne sees the Pigeon Shed as central to consolidating the longstanding North-South divide with all London and…
Not London News can report that millions of Ant and Dec disciples are waiting on the Geordie pair’s next words of wisdom following their criticism of Ed Miliband. The intellectual pair, renowned throughout the world for their pronouncements on important philosophical issues such as whether Callum Best can survive for two minutes in a box…
Former world number one Tiger Woods has blamed his collapse in form on not being sure which clubs to use when playing according to a close friend of the golfer. The 14 time major winner has tumbled down the world rankings and this week announced he was taking a break from the game. However, a close…
Originally posted on notlondonnews:
Henry Everyman, the MP for Abingdon and Didcot North, has demanded that English people should be given more powers following Monday’s debate on devolution in the House of Commons. Specifically he wants more powers for English people living in his constituency – Abingdon and Didcot North – and has called on…
Originally posted on notlondonnews:
Cornwall has been independent from the UK for several decades it has emerged. The news came as Scots voted on whether to stay or leave the UK, with the Cornish saying the Scots should just leave without telling anyone. Cornwall became independent in 1963, on the same day as President Kennedy…
Originally posted on notlondonnews:
Britain is set for absolutely miserable weather this winter most national newspapers have said. In well measured articles, a number of newspapers have said the UK will have loads of snow, hail, rain, wind and really cold weather that will last well into April. The weather is expected to be so…
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